The wedding night for a virgin can cause anxiety that will make you sweat your expensive make up job right off. Sex is a big topic whether you are a virgin or not, and the wedding night builds up so much anticipation that you want to just crawl into a hole and disappear and hope that your friends and family forget that you even got married.
For a virgin, there are so many rumors that go around and unprecedented advice given before the night that you are supposed to do the deed that it is hard to not wonder what it will be like, it is hard to not psych yourself out only to be let down and wondering what all the fuss was about.
However, when the night finally happens (after the anticipation and excitement or dread) you are left puzzled and with a whole bunch of thoughts that will leave your head spinning. You start to question what happened to all the glitz and glam that people talk about surrounding sex and furthermore, you have to wonder why you are left so lost and confused about all the after thoughts.
No matter how humorous, repulsive, annoying, or weird the experience was, it will forever be one that sticks out in your mind and while all those thoughts that come afterwards warrant an answer you may never figure out what some of those feelings mean. Keep in mind that there is more than one virgin out there who is experiencing the wedding night, post intercourse feelings that seem so familiar to you.
1. You Don’t Like Your First Time
You may have hated that experience more than anything in your life; and you may even think that intercourse is not for you; of course you are jumping the gun because it is your first time and how it happens and how it feels will change over time. However, in that moment you are feeling as though this experience is not for you and you may never want to do it again, that is normal and chances are you will want to do it again. The more you do it the better it becomes. So do not say you do not like intercourse, just say it was not great that time
2. Everything Feels Weird Down There
It is natural for your physical body to feel out of place at this time, in addition to the pain, your body has gone through a gigantic shift; this is due to you using muscles that have never been used before. Emotionally you may feel a bit off as well and this is due to trying something that is out of your comfort zone and something that you would have to get used to over time. Your muscles have shifted and you now have to take your time and figure out what feels good and what does not. Relax, you have time to figure it out.
3. The Big “O” Is Not Guaranteed
It is okay if you did not experience the “explosion” that you have waited so long for; you quickly realize that this is not a guaranteed pleasure and soon after that, you will realize that unless you do it yourself there will be several incidents where the big “O” is nowhere to be found. You may be surprised after your first time or maybe a better word is confused, you are thinking “hmm, that was weird”, “is that all there is to it?” and the answer is no. As time goes on you will learn new tricks and tips that make it much better and get you to that “explosion” you were lacking on your wedding night.
4. You Feel Weird Afterwards
If you were the type of person who made it known that you were a virgin and you were waiting for marriage, then chances are when you have officially done the deed you may feel awkward for two reasons. 1. You feel like you have done something dirty and 2. When you get home from your honeymoon you will feel like everyone is looking at you, staring daggers at you almost judging you as if they know that you are no longer a virgin. As if you are no longer that “special” girl who had the courage to stave off the temptations of sex for all those years
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5. Being A Virgin Is Not My Identity
When women self identify as a being a virgin it can sometimes cloud who they are; they wear it like a badge of honor and people around them start to recognize them as just that. When you have finally done the deed, what or who are you at that point? It is then that you realize that you are so much more than the local virgin. You are now a wife; a mother soon (if that is in your future) but most of all you are a human being who does not need to label who she is. On your wedding night you begin to realize that your identity is what you want it to be not what is most identifiable about you.
6. It Can End As Quickly As It Began
“Oh is that it?”; sometimes yes. The build up to sex can make your mind go crazy, you sometimes have all these scenarios in your head of what it will feel like, and how it will pay out. Unfortunately, your imagination is just that, your imagination; there is no real way to know how something will turn out until your try it. Yes you have an idea of what to expect but most of the time it turns out to be completely different than you expected. The same thing goes for being intimate, it usually does not last long depending on who you are with and really, as your first time on your wedding night you do not want it to last long, you just want it to be loving.
7. I Did Not Have To Be Married To Enjoy
This By now you have realized that waiting till marriage does not change the idea of being intimate; some people end up laying there and thinking: “I waited this long just for a ring and a fancy/expensive party?”. A tinge of regret forms in the back of your throat; you missed out on intimate moments with other people because you wanted to save yourself. Those intimate moments do not necessarily have to involve intercourse but the idea of sharing a close thought, a friendship with someone that you cut yourself off of because you associated intimacy with intercourse. Even if you do want to wait for marriage do not let it consume your life, allow yourself to experience other sides of intimacy.
8. The Rumors Are Only Half Truths
All those stories that you hear are usually never true. Everyone has their own experience, and what happened to one person may not happen to you. This is why talking with your girls beforehand can throw a wrench in your excitement. Some of the rumors include; it is awkward, it will hurt really, really bad, it was so fun/boring, the list could go on and on. But in reality you may have realized that oh it did not hurt as bad as I heard, or your experience was actually quite fun and totally not awkward. This is because everyone has a different way of looking at things; even though you are a virgin you could have great sexual chemistry with your new husband so you do not experience the awkwardness, or it may not hurt because you were not a total prude and you have heard of pleasure toys.
9. It Is Still Special
Even though it was maybe not what you expected or ended up being better than you thought, either way it was still special. Contrary to popular beliefs it is hard to stay a virgin; to have that tenacity and drive to wait for the right one then wait a while longer for him to propose and wait some more time for the actual wedding way is no simple feat. So naturally it will be a special moment, as you are not only celebrating the union of your lives but you are celebrating your courage and strength in being able to wait for the right one and make it that special moment that you hoped it would have been all those years ago.
10. It Is Not All That It Is Cracked Up To Be
Yes, it can be special and exciting and guaranteed one of the most memorable times in your life, however, when it is done, it is done and that is that. There is no second chance, there is no do over’s with someone more worthy and most of all it does not guarantee that this will be the man that you will be with forever. Intimacy just seems like intimacy at this point; and when it is done you realize that it was not a big deal, you may question yourself wondering why you were so nervous or scared or realizing that all the hype was unnecessary.